Im confused

My head is aching, aching tired of thinking, thinking of her, the question is, why do I even bother, she barely know that I exist, yet I go thinking that maybe she has this feeling too? what a sick joke, I think something's wrong with me, or maybe because this is how its suppose to feel? this is how I should react, or maybe this is the real thing... and maybe this is the first time.

I figured out how to end this once and for all. (No not suicide, but im working on that, Joke :D), why dont I just walk up to her, say what I feel, and wait for her response, or maybe there's a fly that flew in my face, and by accident, I slapped my head point blank that shook my brain into thinking this, of course NOT! but oh how I wish thats how its simple.

But then again, what can be holding me back from telling her what I feel? I keep telling myself that I shouldnt have a girlfriend until im worthit, until I graduate, until land a job, until I get a stable career, until I repay my parents, Thats got to be it.... is it?.... :c

while thinking about that "Untill then, Untill now," thing, I came across something..

back then when I was a child, I was addicted to video games, I keep playing the same game untill I get better at it, back then I never failed a subject, never repeated a grade, though my marks arent that of a "to-be-proud" of, I never failed. I got a failing grade, but I made it up to the finals.

After all thats said and done. To summarize on what Im emphasizing at. ill tell it strait to my face, "arent I just afraid of being rejected?, arent I just afraid of rejection?"

(//.-)