Lifelines being cut down

What is a lifeline? the definition of the word "Lifeline" is..

"An anchored line thrown as a support to someone falling or drowning."

So in a drowning situation, what would you think you'd feel if you know that any moment.. that lifeline that you hold dear.. will break or snap any moment?

I've felt that for days, the one who you hold dear, slowly drifts apart from you.

Sadly, when you thought that she's different from the others.. you start to think that she's much worse but it's only natural, I for one thinks that it's a primal instinct of a human to feel such in a situation.

She wasn't like the others, she was just longing, longing for the things she missed. things that I haven't felt before, never felt even once, with one of the reason that no one's ever made me feel that way.

I love her so I can't bring myself to hate her, I even miss her, I promised to only devote my love to her..
but I'm no pair..
no special person..
I'm to be only treated as her brother.

As the rope breaks slowly in front of me, I start to question myself..

"What did I do wrong?
Was my love not enough?
Did she loved me from the start? or worse..
Was I alone right from the start?

I started changing my mindset, my views, how I handle things, life can never give you handicap, it's fair by being unfair to all, things would never be the same, it never is.

I never regretted having this as my role in her life, I'm even thankful to what role she gave me, because of that, I've felt different, not special, different..

"Once a rope breaks, it can easily be tied up, but no matter how good the tie is, you can clearly see that there's a knot, holding the tie together in place"

The answer to the sadness is sadness

Maybe..

Maybe..

I always question myself, what can I say, I live curious..

Now I question myself why did I go there in the first place, is it because the coldness? is it because of the desire to want somebody? to feel the emotion of being needed by someone?

I was perfectly happy adoring her from afar, there were just those days that I forget, and then the days went on, until I lost sight of her..

I searched for something, and found something, but in the end, that something wasn't mine..

The questioning part came..

In a parallel universe,
could it be mine?
if I took that door instead of this,
could it be mine?


Was that something ever attached to me in the first place? was it all genuine that was just taken by someone because of the lack of guts that I have? was it all a lie to entertain me?

We'll never know, I'll just regret.. I know.. It's my fault anyways..

There must be something more..

I thought i've forgotten about her, I think I did, but why am I still saying these kinda stuff?, hmm, Im really confused right now, and to boot it all up, My 2 favorite band released both of their own new song! the other one is posted at "Let Me In" and this is the other one,

Enjoy!




Thanks to vesley26 My friend for uploading this video, I hope many were pleased about this not being a rickroll :D

Glaring at the lights

The party was great, so is she.

We just had a party of our lives, everything formal and what not, Then, Mr. President came up with a crazy but brilliant presentation for the party.

(a week before the party)

Guys your going to do this.......

We all listened to him, looked at each other, gulped with goosebumps, and pointed at each other for who will do what.

(at the party)

We did what we had to do, I hope we made Mr. President proud,

(while performing)

We were catching our breath, we walked up to the stage, my friend suggested we scream our warcry to lessen our fears, all of the people were standing up, looking at us, then we danced.. unbelievably, the crowd was pleased.

Then I saw her.. with the hundreds of audiences watching us, she's the one I've noticed.

I danced.. Putting on a happy face for the crowd, while inside I just want to be alone, thinking why I admired her in the first place.

Then before we knew it, the presentation was over, we got back to our tux and coats,

Then when I was about to dance in the dancefloor.

She was gone..

I danced, looking at the lights, going in the smokes, dancing with the crowd.

When I came home and got to bed..

I didnt thought of the party, I thought of her..

Letting go..

I really have to stop this madness.

why am I here in the first place?


"Im stuck here in this life
I didn't asked for"


that gentle face, that long hair, those brown eyes, forget it, forget it ALL!
(easier said than done)

Do I need her to slap me in the face and tell me "I dont like you, Okay? Bug off"
yeah, probably, that's what I need.

I know I said this a hundred times, but I need to try to forget about her..


Lets just wait and see where this life goes..

I friggin hate myself

"Maybe its just me..."


I dont want to go through all details, illjust reinact it by telling a made up story :D

"There I was on the gates of the portal, I came too early than I have expected, it was about an hour before the portal opens, there, I saw my guild mate, she was waiting for a friend of mine to drop by, she was going to borrow a spell converter, she has an upcoming test in her class, she bid me farewell after 20 minutes or so, I was frustrated, I know my guildmates will come at the portal at exact time, so I still have 40 minutes to kill, then I nod my head down, trying to close my eyes and hopefully doze off for a couple of minutes, then, all of a sudden, I heard footsteps coming up the stairway, before I look up on who that was, I told myself that she would be the last one that I expected, and there she was, I stand corrected, she had her band on, with a long, straight hair, having that innocent look in her eyes, I was stunned, then, It came to me, 'this is a good time to finally talk to her' then after a minute I found myself downstars, drinking OJ's, I went pass her on purpose, thats how shy I am, after I finished my OJ, I went back up the portal docks to look for her, a guildmate of mine was there too, he just came in, I looked up and saw that i'ts almost time for the portal to open up, I knew where she was on the portal docks, I just dont want to look, then we went in the portal, the moment gone, the time, irreversable, the future, unpredictable,"

(//.T) I friggin hate myself, I let that opportunity passed by, and the only one to suffer is ME...

Walk with caution

"why do you do this to me..
why do you do this so.. easily.."



The curse is yet again intoxicating me, a surprised attack was the least that i've expected, thought she caught me off guard, she stand corrected.

My fragile heart was surprised that the one who made it fragile came back for more, i dont know how, i dont know why, my strategy is falling apart.

A good chat with her made a shook to my plans, plans on forgetting her, but from the cuts that was left by the experiences,


"I maybe sad
but im not weak"


Surprisingly, its not that big of a deal for me now, but still


"But somehow your words, the way that I heard are haunting me
You're under my skin, you?re BREAKING IN"


Lets just see where this goes. im too fragile to open up again, one more time and I'll shatter :X