The Verge of Destruction

The end is getting near, not for the earth, but for me, and this strange feeling i've felt for the past months, its like im losing a war that was never fought, and my enemy winning by a huge difference but never knew she was in a war in the first place.

For those past months, i've been a stalker, well, maybe thats not the right word for it, And for the no-communication part, I went berserk, and at the same time frustrated, I need to know the real reason for the breakoff, so I consulted a friend of mine about the situation at hand, she said "she's ditching you bro, she could've ditched you in a nice way if you asked me". you may wonder what's this all about, let's just put it this way, once we were talking, and now I think she doesnt know I exist.

Good thing I have this vacation, to relax my body and my mind, the best part here is the "Not-Seeing-Her" part, so I can't be frustrated about what happened, thus, I concluded to myself, "Let go, dont continue this madness anymore", and so it is, I went to my friend's house to take of my mind on whats needed to be forgotten,

Me and my friend has a lot in common in the loving part, she got rejected 12 times, and im shy, so, i've let 3 opportunity pass by, well, as you can see, the numbers are of far difference, but for him, 1 or 2 of those girls accepted him into their hearts, the bummer part is they were seperated by distance, nothing he can do about, then we're doing a hobby together, luckily, he really helped out on the forgetting part.

"How can I forget her when every paragraph above mentioned her?"

The Cold

Its too cold, too cold for me to sleep, too cold for me to move, too cold for me to cry.

Rain is getting more and more as the days pass by, as for the scar she left me bleeds, no one can patch up the wound, it hurts too much, why do I have to be like this..

Loving someone from afar is not that fun, why do I have to be shy, when you adore someone from a distance, you appreciate every bit of communication or every bit of time she spent including you, even if that time is'nt directly for you, you still cherish that time.. that split second moment.. where you think that the world just stopped for the two of you.. the drawback to this is, she doesnt know about this, at all.

Im being dillusional, thinking that "quote" means something, but when there is'nt any feeling at all, a quote is just a word combined together to form a heart-touching LIE, This is where my heart feeds from his needs of the so-called LOVE, but now, my heart is dying of this hunger, eating crumbs like that, little did I know that those crumbs were like junkfoods, junkfoods that give you that jumpy feeling, but for only a moment,

I want to cut myself, but for what? im not that insane, but if you think about it, what will happen if I cut myself? will that cut help me get near her? will that cut tell her what's happening? no, that cut will only stack up to the unexplainable dying feeling thats been inside.

I've been living in a lie from the start, and I knew about it..

the worst part is..

I KEPT ON MOVING FORWARD :(