Lifelines being cut down

What is a lifeline? the definition of the word "Lifeline" is..

"An anchored line thrown as a support to someone falling or drowning."

So in a drowning situation, what would you think you'd feel if you know that any moment.. that lifeline that you hold dear.. will break or snap any moment?

I've felt that for days, the one who you hold dear, slowly drifts apart from you.

Sadly, when you thought that she's different from the others.. you start to think that she's much worse but it's only natural, I for one thinks that it's a primal instinct of a human to feel such in a situation.

She wasn't like the others, she was just longing, longing for the things she missed. things that I haven't felt before, never felt even once, with one of the reason that no one's ever made me feel that way.

I love her so I can't bring myself to hate her, I even miss her, I promised to only devote my love to her..
but I'm no pair..
no special person..
I'm to be only treated as her brother.

As the rope breaks slowly in front of me, I start to question myself..

"What did I do wrong?
Was my love not enough?
Did she loved me from the start? or worse..
Was I alone right from the start?

I started changing my mindset, my views, how I handle things, life can never give you handicap, it's fair by being unfair to all, things would never be the same, it never is.

I never regretted having this as my role in her life, I'm even thankful to what role she gave me, because of that, I've felt different, not special, different..

"Once a rope breaks, it can easily be tied up, but no matter how good the tie is, you can clearly see that there's a knot, holding the tie together in place"